Upstairs, Downstairs

Do you want to know what one of the most irritating things on Earth is? Let me tell you. It’s when you go the gym and someone uses the locker underneath yours. 

I don’t know how many times this has happened to me. Apparently enough times to question humanity. The gym I go to is probably about 200 metres from work. Most of us head off to the gym during lunch; it’s a good way to get it done. 

The changing room is spacious and there are probably a few hundred lockers – one on top and one beneath in each slot. I usually pick a top spot locker and hope that nobody takes the locker below mine. In my mind I would never do that – why use the same space as someone else? Buy yet, a lot of the times I get back to the changing room after my gym session I see a padlock on the locker beneath mine. 

That means I have to get changed and get dressed in the same spot as someone else. The biggest question is, why pick a locker on the bottom row when you can clearly see that the locker on the top row is taken? And especially when there are so many empty lockers to choose from? In my mind these people have small brains. My brain might yet be even smaller, but I can still figure out not to pick a locker beneath or above a locker that is already taken. 

After my gym session yesterday, guess what happened? Yes, you guessed it. Some genius picked the locker underneath mine. I tried to be gracious about it and put my clothes to one side while I went to have a shower, just to give him some space, if he would get back while I was still changing. And perhaps to prove a point that he was an idiot. I come back from the shower and see that he has kicked my stuff even further away! He obviously finished his gym session just after me and saw my stuff while I was having a shower. 

So this dude comes to the gym after me, picks a locker beneath mine, kicks my stuff out of the way and says something stupid like: “Oh, I didn’t realise you were here as well”. It can’t be easy being a little dumb. 

Song of the day: Sting – If I ever lose my faith in you

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